they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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