you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
