Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
