I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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