Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
there is puke in my bra ... again
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
