I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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