You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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