Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
