Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
