He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize
