i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
