I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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