You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Damn victory sex feels great
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