ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
