You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
