I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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