Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
