ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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