Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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