I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
