just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
