First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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