Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I CAN MOONWALK!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
