the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
