the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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