i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
