What a fucking waste of an outfit
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
