sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
