your parents love me but you hate me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
