i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's rum buckets o'clock
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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