so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
