Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
