oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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