He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
