If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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