How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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