I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
