Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
