time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
