Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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