My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
