Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
