We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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