I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
