The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
