do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
birth control should be required to get into college
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
