My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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