Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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