I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
