But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
