Those balls look pretty dangerous.
someone owes me an orgasm
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
