He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
