I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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