Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have already put on my inside pants.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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