I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
