no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
