This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
