white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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